Breaking The Chains
by NCISVILLE
Summary: The thoughts of one Marty Deeks and Kensi Blye as Deeks is shot and the events that follow to bring them together at long last. Set in the episode Personal.


**This story is written because a fan of mine (Bulgarian Fan) asked me if I would write a fic for Deeks and Kensi and I decided, what the hay? I love the two of them and have wanted to write a one shot so now I am. Hope you all like it. This is my first fic for Densi , however not my first rodeo, by far. Anyways I hope you like this. It's definitely maybe been done but I love this episode. Personal. When Deeks is on his morning run and stops in the store and gets shot. That episode is amazing.**

**Breaking The Chains**

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My first thought as he stood over me was Kensi is going to pissed. I waited for the shot knowing I'd never make it out alive. I hated knowing that I'd never get the kiss we should have had. Our thing would never come to fruition. I know we would have been happy together. It was all just a matter of when not if and I was too cowardly to ask her out. I'm filled with regrets as I feel myself fade out and silently I apologize to Fern for not having enough of a backbone to ask her out and ruining our chances of being happy.

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I can't lose him. This can't be Dom all over again. Only this time it would be worse because I love him. I hate to admit that I love my partner but it's true, I love Marty Deeks. He's worked his way into my heart intertwining our fates. Sitting, waiting for him to wake up is worse than being tortured in an Afghani prison. Here I am left with nothing but my thoughts and all my thoughts are about him, us. What if he wakes up and doesn't remember me? What if something goes wrong and he never does wake up? What if we never get a chance for our thing to become an official thing? I curse him for always backing out when I've given him an opportunity and I curse myself for waiting for him to make the first move. Now I wonder if a move will ever be able to be made. I can't help but stare at his face. I want to see those ravishing eyes again. I need to see that smile. My body is craving him. I want to feel his lips on mine, run my fingers through his hair, have those eyes gaze at me so affectionately and to hear him utter sweet words and jokes. Staring at his broken body I feel tears pool at my eyes and they threaten to spill. I fight them back as my throat tightens wanting to sob but I'm stronger than this and I push them back. I always eat when I'm stressed and the jello is right there. It's quickly gone and I'm right back where I started, regretful, worried, stressed, sad.

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"Am I dead?" It's more a question to myself but when I hear her voice my heart beats just a bit faster and I'm so glad she's beside my bed. There's no one else I'd rather wake up to first.

Of course that doesn't mean I can't mess around with her and when she looks at me heartbroken i can't keep messing around with her.

"I'm just kidding. I know who you are Fern."

While she protests the nickname I know deep down she likes it. I know she likes me, it's just a weird dance we do. If one could call our thing a dance. The pain is excruciating. But seeing my nurse come in gives me a great opportunity to get a rise out of Kensi. Nurse Debbie isn't even close to Kensi. On a scale of one to ten she's a six and Kensi's a ten. She's perfect. Beautiful, smart, snarky, and loyal. She's a wonderful partner and even better friend and I know in my heart she'd be the best girlfriend ever. Even with her tomboy exterior I'm not fooled. She's a girl who wants a guy to man up and take charge and give her flowers and tell her she's beautiful. She wants someone to notice the little things like the way her bag is always slung over her left shoulder when she's stressed or how when she's really mean for a week she just needs chocolate, cheeseburgers, and beer. Or even the way she cleans her gun. How she prefers chipotle over qdoba and Chinese over Thai and pizza over sandwiches. How she likes dark chocolate more than milk chocolate and only a handful of red skittles.

She's so precious and special that I want to get up and kiss her now. I try to sit up and feel sick. I can't kiss her yet. I make a vow to kiss her and I know I'll get my chance.

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I can't believe I'm actually doing this. As I sign the last release form I grab the handles of the wheel chair and roll him out to my car. Deeks is getting released and I've agreed to babysit and be his nurse and make sure he doesn't reopen his wounds like he did last time when he saved my life. I'm not entirely convinced me being with him 24/7 for the weekend is a good idea. I'm pretty sure I'll kill him. But he needs to rest and I know he won't if I don't make him. He's one of a kind and something special.

He whimpers a few times on the drive and I wince. It's the stupid pot-hole filled road and it's never bothered me before today. I apologize countless times but he waves it off. I have to smile when I help him inside and see the place is a mess. I help him reach the couch and he gingerly lays across it with Monty greeting us.

"Can I get you anything Deeks?"

"Some painkillers and a sandwhich would be great and if it's not too much to ask, a new chest." I have to laugh. Same old Deeks always trying to lighten the mood.

"Sure." I reply and disappear into the kitchen to see what he has. All there is is junk food. "Deeks! Where's the fruit and vegetables? Where's the meat and dairy? All I see are hot pockets, pop tarts, ice cream, Gatorade, mini eclairs, chips galore, and lunchables.

"Oh I'll take the nacho one please." He calls out. I'm flabbergasted. How can he not have any real food? How does he manage to stay healthy with such unhealthy food.

"You know what I'm going to go shopping right now. You have nothing."

"No!" He shouts. I look at him confused and his previous look of panic fades but mine does not. "I...I can't lose you, not again." He says softly, his voice trembling as he looks down. My heart breaks just a little bit more. "Please don't leave me Kensi, you're all I have."

What has possessed him? Why is he being so unnervingly sweet? I can't resist him though. I walk back over to the couch and kneel in front of him. I give him a soft smile and gently run my fingers through his hair. "I'll never leave you Deeks. You're my partner. I have your back."

Something flashes through his eyes but it's unknown to me. I can't identify it. He grabs my hand with his and with a small wince pulls me to him. I don't have a clue what he is doing until its too late and we're too close. His lips are on mine and it's just like I imagined. They're soft and sweet and he's kissing me so tenderly and sweetly I think I'm melting. This is what I've wanted for so long and he's finally made a move. It's my turn to make one and I kiss him back. I know words will fail me so I try to speak through this kiss making it long and more aggressive than his. He needs to know how I feel as I won't be able to say. I know he understands when he gently kisses me back again for only a second before he quickly pulls away and draws in a breath so deep it makes him cry out. I forgot about his wound.

He takes quick shallow breaths clenching his jaw as he tries not to cry out in pain. For his benefit or mine I'm not sure, maybe both.

"I'm sorry I forgot." I apologize lamely. Communication has never been my strong suit and it's times like these when I curse my mom's side of the family for being terrible speakers.

"It's fine." He says through holding a breath with his jaw and body tensed. He's trying to ride off a wave of pain like he does when he's surfing the ocean.

"I'm just gonna run down to the store and pick up something that I can use to actually cook food. I'll be back soon. Call me if you need something. I'm not even going to bother asking if you want dessert."

I figure the best bet for both of us right now is to think about it and talk later so we both have time to think about what to say. He gives me a small smile and a nod.

"Drive safe." He says sadly.

"Sure. Stay safe, don't move and hurt yourself." I start to walk for the door when he calls my name.

"Kens." I look back and I know what he's saying with just a look and my name.

"Later, I promise." He sighs and nods. He calls Monty over who had previously been sitting on a chair and struts over happy to have been called. With keys still in my pocket I exit the apartment with a heavy sigh thinking to myself, what am I supposed to do?

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It's torture waiting for her to return. I want to talk about the kiss now and know what she wants. I know she likes me, I heard it from her kiss if that makes any sense. Our language has always been looks and touch. We're both terrible with words but this is the one time when we have to use words. I want Kensi to be more than just my partner but I don't want to tell her too much and scare her away. I don't know what to say to get my point across without overstating it. Relationships are always so complicated at first but Kensi is worth all the hassle. I want those brown eyes welcoming me home, to be the first thing I see when I wake up, to be the only thing that calms me down. I'm selfish when it comes to her. I want everything. Monty keeps me company while she's gone but I'd prefer her company. I'm not even paying attention to what is on the T.V. In fact I can't peel my eyes off the door nor my thoughts off of her. She's all I ever think about now and her lips and eyes are seared in my brain. I don't know how much time passes when the door starts to open. All I know is that my heart is beating crazy and I know what I want to say, sort of.

"Hey." She greets as she enters. I can't tell what she's thinking. Her eyes are cloudy and it almost appears as though they are a bit red. But it's probably just the lighting and distance.

"Hey." I greet clearing my throat.

"I love that movie." She says looking past me.

"What?" I look towards the screen and identify the movie easily enough.

"Oh yeah, Rocky. It's a great movie."

"You weren't even paying attention, were you?"

I give a sheepish smile and answer, "No, not really. My mind was a bit...preoccupied."

"Me too." She replies with a small smile. "We can talk over dinner. I'm going to make spaghetti."

"Please don't burn the water or noodles." I joke. She smiles and rolls her eyes. Wordlessly she goes into the kitchen and I hear her putting things away and searching the cabinets for kitchen ware."

"Pots are on the right above the sink. First shelf." I call out to her.

I hear the clattering of pots and a droned out, "thanks."

It seems like hours pass when she announces dinner is ready and helps me get up and walk to the small table. There's only two chairs because I hardly ever have anyone over. Sitting on it are two plates of spaghetti with meatballs and Texas Toast.

"Wow, I haven't had a meal like this in ages." I confess amazed at how good it tastes. She smiles and continues eating. I wait impatiently until we've consumed a good amount of food and set down my fork. She knows what's coming and does the same with a sigh.

"Where do we stand...Kens?"

"Look, I need to say this all at once. I suck with these type conversations. The kiss was...enjoyable. Working with you is very enjoyable but-"

"Please don't say that." I beg. But is never a good word to hear but I let her continue as dread falls on me.

"Let me finish. But you and I both know we actually have a thing. As I was shopping I thought about how I could have lost you today. I can't lose you Deeks, ever. I already lost one partner but this time it would be so much worse. I don't want to just be your partner. I want to be with you, completely."

She looks nervous and I know it took alot for her to say that much. She's had these walls up around her for so long that I'm surprised. I thought for sure she'd shut me down.

"Wow I'm relieved to hear that." I say with a small laugh that doesn't hurt too much. She looks at me confused and I open my mouth to clarify. "I want to be with you completely too. Best friend, partner, boyfriend. I want to be it all." The smile that lights up her face is so brilliantly beautiful I wish I could get up and kiss her again.

"So does this mean we're...dating?" She asks hopefully.

"Why yes Fern, I think it does." She smiles and laughs. We go back to eating our spaghetti and I for one feel giddy and gleeful. Night comes all too quick and Kensi says she is going to leave for the night and be back early in the morning. I beg her to stay worried that something might happen to her should she leave. To say I'm surprised she agrees is an understatement. She insists on the couch and I settle. It's actually very comfortable. I've fallen asleep more than once and my back is fine the next day. She helps change my bandages and cleans the wounds before helping me into bed.

"Can I get a kiss goodnight?" I ask testing my luck. She smiles and does just that and if not for my lungs I would have been content keeping her there on my lips for the rest of my life.

After a good length of time she pulls away and whispers, "Goodnight Deeks."

"Goodnight Fern."

I watch her walk out with a grin on my face happy with the way this day has turned out and I think how it can only get better.

**THE END**

**So what did you all think? I hope you liked it :) leave me a review pretty please. I'd love to hear some feedback on if you all like it enough to things I should write some more for them or just jump back to my Pepperony pool. **


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